Chompy’s driving misadventures – Chapter 1 of 1(00[000?] potentially thousands)

At the ripe old age of 21, I have recently been learning to drive. Well, I got my learner’s license back in ’07, so technically I have been learning to drive for about 2 years, but without actually taking any real practical measures to do so until this week. We all have to learn at some point, and being one of the only (and more sadly, one of the oldest) of my friends and family who still hadn’t completed a single rotation of a steering wheel was getting a little embarrassing. So it was time to say ‘sayonara’ to being carted around by everyone else, and ‘konnichiwa’ to some driving lessons.

My driving instructor is really cool, and, like Oddsocks, coincidentally English. In the last few days I’ve driven on surfaces other than a road at least 4 times and have nearly faceplanted into the kerb on countless others, and she still hasn’t yelled at me once. Not even when I kept indicating incorrectly and repeatedly went over the same pothole. What a saint.

Furthermore, she didn’t blink when I had a close encounter of the humiliating kind with one of the refuge islands in the middle of the street (which I later unwittingly referred to as ‘refugee’ islands during a recount of the incident to some friends... I feel it is needless to say that much laughter ensued, and naturally, I was at the receiving end). And with her help, I survived my first roundabout relatively unscathed.

...At least not physically.

Despite the aforementioned mishaps, learning to drive has actually been quite fun, should I even dare to say it. It certainly hasn’t been as terrible as I assumed it would be – which was pretty terrible. I blame it all on a bunch of recurring, vehicle-related nightmares I’ve had over my lifetime, the worst of which involved a pink ice-cream van stalking me down the street and then driving up onto the footpath to run me over. The mental damage was such that for some time afterwards the mere suggestion of Mr. Whippy and ‘Greensleeves’ would induce mild panic attacks.

Toon of the day:

History of the day: On the topic of the quote in the cartoon above, have you ever actually read the lyrics of Greensleeves? A general summary of the song is a man lamenting that his lady-love with sleeves of green has never loved him, and all the time / dollars / sense he wasted on her. A whole 13 verses of it! No wonder she left... Then again, don't think you're such a catch, Lady Greensleeves! Why on earth were your sleeves green?? Perhaps thy suitor should have bought thee kerchiefs for thy nose instead of thy head.

Horror of the day: A very graphic video of a guy attempting to jump into the sea from a great height (or ‘tombstoning’, according to Oddsocks) and splitting his head on some concrete below has been circulating my Facebook homepage recently. Naturally there was no way in HEY-ELL I was going to click play, but some people did, and have been scarred for the remainder of their natural lives. So if you ever see it, don’t watch it!

Explanation of the day: Most, if not all, of my posts will involve a segment called ‘____of the day’. Perhaps more than one if I feel there are numerous things that deserve a special mention.

Soup of the day: Pumpkin.


Chompy 8-)